-by Kid Bucket-
- Just when I was contemplating being able to believe in love again…
- Delivering to Ubekibekibekibekistanstan in 30 minutes or less!…
- …unless they do abortions, but only when it could save the life of the mother… wait, it’s up to the states… never mind, no abortions at all.
- This Romney Campaign memo was actually written by Captain Obvious.
- I was voted “Best at quitting drinking and smoking” at the same conference.
- We don’t need jobs: WE HAVE GOD!
- Wall Street traders need someone to ask if they want fries with that.
- Wait, this is a post-racial America? Maybe next week Ann Coulter will tell us who has the best chinks.
- Needy kids ned toys, AS LONG AS THEY DON’T SPECIFICALLY COME FROM CHRISTIANS BECAUSE THEN THEY ARE TAINTED!
- Rick Scott, America’s most loved Governor, doesn’t even really know his state.
- This guy should be fed to wolves.
- Conan destroys America ON TV!
- Brett Ratner makes himself the victim AND the douchebag explaining what happened with Olivia Munn.
- America’s best cartoon just got EVEN BETTER AND MUSTACHIOED!
- I still doubt he knows what a vagina looks like.
- It’s a relief knowing how awesome Michael Bay’s movies are with an exact numerical answer.
- Nipplegate is over! The tit that paused millions of DVRs apparently didn’t destroy the nation’s moral compass as much as we thought.
- Maybe this guy should just run for President…
- Neil Patrick Harris, we found your next role done specifically for a paycheck.