anti-comedy and shaggy republicans

-by Kid Bucket-

I was doing some Wikipedia-ing today (part-time employment!) and came across one of my favorite posts. Wikipedia describes Anti-Comedy as:

Anti-humor (or anti-comedy) and anti-jokes (also known as unjokes) are a kind of humor based on the absence of an expected joke or punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

This is one of my favorite types of comedy, which was most recently seen in the hilarious mini-series on Cartoon Network, The Heart, She Holler. But for spoken anti-comedy, it really doesn’t get better than The Shaggy Dog Story.

“A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. When the judges had inspected all of the competing dogs, they remarked about the boy’s dog: ‘He’s not so shaggy.'”

For this comparison, Shagginess is a stand in for craziness and chances to win the GOP nomination.

Santorum– Compared being gay to liking pedophilia and beastiality.

Michele Bachmann– Said that God called on her to marry her husband because she had a vision of him and was told this was the one she should marry. Reportedly, her husband had the exact same vision.  Also said God called on her to run for every office she has ever held.

Rick Perry– Started his campaign off with a church revival, seemed poised to take the crazy crown (I imagine it as a nearly worn out Burger King crown) from Bachmann.

ALL ABOARD THE CAIN TRAIN!– Former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, said that he woud never elect a Muslim to any cabinet position, sang a new version of John Lennon’s “Imagine” that described what the world would be like without pizza (THE HORROR!), said that he doesn’t need to know about foreign policy because he can just ask Generals what they think, 9-9-9, has reversed his opinion on abortion more times than I have given up smoking (that’s a lot of times), maybe sexually harassed a bunch of women, maybe not.

Not a candidate yet, but will be in a future election: Allen West– Relieved of his position as a commanding General and forced to retire because he tortured an innocent man and was given bad information that he acted upon, said that water boarding should be allowed because Demi Moore was waterboarded in G.I. Jane and was fine.

Every time one of these people was put on the national stage, I couldn’t help but wonder how fucking crazy they were. Then “OH WAIT, HE’S/SHE’S NOT THAT CRAZY AT ALL COMPARED TO THIS GUY” set in. When SNL only has to quote you exactly to get laughs, maybe you want to rethink your politics and the way you present them.

Is the current crop the most amazing piece of anti-humor the world has ever seen? After all, the Penn State scandal already looks like a real life performance of “The Aristocrats”.

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