Tag Archives: satire

The Pocket Guide to Not-Quite-Legal Scenic Destinations

Today, a post by special guest writer Danny Wind, internationally acclaimed, claimed, and reclaimed author of Let’s Kill All the Belgians: A Child’s Guide to Genocide.


Some of America’s coolest, most beautiful destinations are, strictly speaking, barred to the public. But this handy guide shows how an intrepid traveler could, hypothetically, check some of them out for himself–not that we’d ever endorse breaking the law, of course!

Jerimoth Hill (Foster, RI)

The highest point in the state of Rhode Island at 812 feet, Jerimoth Hill sits on private property and is officially off-limits to hikers. But simply vault the fence at the unattended western edge of the property–especially on weekdays, nobody’s likely to stop you.

Abandoned Subway Tunnels (Indianapolis, IN)

Construction began on these in the mid-1970s, but was abandoned when funding ran out. Now they’re an urban spelunker’s dream. The entrance to the only completed station (at 16th and Rankin) is gated and padlocked, but our sources tell us that this can be easily defeated with a common set of lockpicks. Be sure to take a buddy with you–these tunnels may not be as dangerous as the city will say they are, but there’s still a risk from falling debris.

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I kissed America, when she was fleecing me

-by Nerdface-

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